Hello people!,

This blog post does go off on many tangents just so you are warned! 

On every school bus there are rules which need to be followed. As you may not know I would not class myself as popular and this is why today when the annual moving of the year tens from the back of the bus on the bottom deck to the back on the top deck happened today it came as a shock that I would be allowed to sit near the back on the bottom deck as it as by far a privilege at our school. In our school if you attempt to sit near the back when you don't normally, you get sat on until you move or are removed very forcefully with a foot shove which results in you being humiliated in front of the whole bus. Trust me this has happened to be before so I have learnt from the mistake of sitting at the back as the people who sit there all have their own seats saved there (life lesson learned). Now I sit Near the back I feel like I have accomplished something as I thought that I would never be respected enough. (Its a hard life for a teenage blogger). 

Now looking back at my life at my secondary school, I have dreamed of this moment being accepted by fellow students and feel so proud of myself of how far I have come  from a really not very liked and picked on year 7 to the 15 year old sophisticated Teenage Blogger I am now.*chokes on the word sophisticated...*. I have faced quite a few hurdles on the way which I have overcome with only a few scrapes and bruises in the process (these being mental and physical) *starts thinking of the time when I gave my self concussion through doing the limbo* (ouch!). I feel that I have changed so much from my appearance (The attack of the killer spots are nearly no more!) to my personality. I have come a long way! Various things have happened in the space of 4 years since I started in year 7. I have lost and made friends (Thank you Katie for coming into my life), fallen out with classmates, had a disastrous on off relationship with a boy I regret going out with (I was..... young!), got two adorable (but very sexually frustrated) male guinea pigs called cocoa and fudge and became more accepting of myself as a person.

But out of everything I think that the hardest thing that I had to deal with was having my best friend move abroad for a year in year 8. During that year I had to cope by myself which made me realize that at some point I was going to need to move on but I just couldn't accept that. For all I knew during that year she could of never come back. This thought frightened me a lot. All her other friends could let go but why couldn't I? Ever since primary school Sian and I have been friends for such a long time and her going away felt like I was losing a limb; I could never feel whole without her. Even now when she is away for one day because she is ill or can't make it to school I always miss her waay too much! (Don't ever leave me again like you did on Monday Sian!)  and I think that this is one of the reasons why I couldn't function without her. Days turned into weeks and then slowly into months as I started to get used to the fact she was gone. Music was my only escape as I began to write a song about missing her for my Y.P.A.A project. To this day I remember performing in an assembly to the year sevens (now year 9's) and felt at peace with myself. I could finally let go (not completely but mostly) for the rest of the year I managed until she decided to come back. 

If you are wondering what I am trying to get at it is this: It is okay to be afraid of something that's going to happen to you such as exams, leaving school and in the process leaving friends behind or your general future. However you must accept that it is going to happen and cannot put it off. Moving on into a new chapter of your life is daunting but is very exciting as you are experiencing new things. You also cannot regret what happened to you past, what happened happened and you cannot change this. However you must live in the moment and plan for the future the best you can such as planning what you are going to do as a future career and what you want to accomplish in your lifetime. Don't worry to much, just let life take you where it wants to take you and don't be scared to be different! You don't need to follow the crowd to be successful, just enjoy yourself and learn from your mistakes x